Japanese TV: think people hurting themselves in weird and unusual ways, games in which the only prizes are naked chicks, and panties. Lots of them. Absurdly obsessive amounts of them. We’ve compiled a list of some of the weirdest moments from Japanese TV — although to be honest, there’s plenty that was too fruity for us to show. Says it all about what they like to watch, really. Anyway, check it out.
They say Japanese prank shows are the best in the world. Well, yes. If your idea of “best” means the pranks they play are so disturbingly realistic, their victims have to spend several years in institutions recovering. The look of sheer horror on this guy’s face as his buddies are brutally gunned down is not a pleasant sight — and what’s worse is watching his reaction.
Like most of us, he doesn’t try to play the hero, or even tend to his wounded pals, but drags himself into the corner of the room, wetting himself, and thinking only of saving his own skin. This truly is closer to cruelty than entertainment.
This basically just leaves us speechless. The mysterious thought that lies behind putting a man on a giant bungee and getting him to run towards a woman behind a screen and throw balls to knock it down… well, it’s just bizarre. And yes, that’s right, she is in only her underwear. Predictably.
This is definitely an idea we should think about exporting from Japan. A load of men wearing nappies (ok, we don’t need that part) bust their guts turning a giant wheel that gradually, tantalizingly unravels the threads of girls’ clothes, leaving them standing in — you guessed it — their underwear!
Just check out the anguished looks of genuine concern from the dudes watching when they fear the guys on the wheel will run out of steam before they get to see the final girl’s hooters. As her naked nipples are slowly uncovered men collapse and are thrown off the wheel in agony, but they gallantly keep going (as any true gentleman would in the situation), using the famous industrious Japanese work-ethic to repeatedly jump back on for one final, kamikaze push. And boy, are they rewarded.
You might want to make sure nobody is looking over your shoulder when you watch this show — it basically boils down to a few hyper Japanese guys running around fondling the boobs of mannequins placed in a variety of suggestive poses. Totally inexplicable, but somehow endlessly fascinating.
Bikini Balance Beam
We’re willing to bet the guys that dreamed up this one had consumed a fair bit of sake. It’s so cliche it’s actually brilliant. Get loads of hot chicks, whack them in bikinis, and make them fight (or in their case, feebly grapple) to stay on a beam. Simple but effective, this is classic lad’s entertainment at its most meaningless. The winner even gets to pull the string on a confetti loaded exploding ball. Genius.
Naked Body Surfing
Wait. We’ve just had a killer idea. Take one aging, slightly balding, bespectacled Japanese man. Grease him up and get him to run full pelt (which is pathetically slow in his case) towards a line of horizontal bikini-clad babes, before diving on them and seeing how far he can slide across their firm, naked flesh. Who the hell went through that thought process and came to the conclusion it was a great idea for TV — more importantly, how didn’t the guy get wood?
Transsexual MRI Scan
This seems to have absolutely no point whatsoever. A bunch of men, dressed as nurses (why we ask?), undergo MRI scans. But there’s an oh-so-hilarious catch — as they slide into the chamber they are met, face-to-face by — another face. The result? After this side-splittingly unfunny experience, many of these dudes seem genuinely psychologically traumatized.
A Japanese girl, dressed in maid’s costume, dizzies herself by spinning around on a baseball bat — giving the obligatory glimpse of panties, naturally — before making a pathetic attempt to send a bowling ball down the lane and collapsing to the floor. And it gets weirder: from nowhere an utterly random and insane bunny girl fantasy suddenly appears. Are these people on crack or something?
Insect Freak Show
Possibly one of the weirdest things we’ve seen all year. Apparently this girl has the ability to make insects perform circus tricks, using… her finger. We’re not sure whether to be amazed or repulsed, or whether we simply don’t care. Knowing the Japanese, what is amazing is that he doesn’t use his powers to magic a pair of panties onto those flies.
Pantyhose Tug of War
We all know the Japanese are utterly enthralled by anything and everything to do with girls’ underwear. They also love taking simple, innocent enough games and whacking in a pair of panties or a nipple just to spice things up. Unfortunately, the rest of the world just thinks they’re a bit weird. Check out these two meatheads, whose idea of fun is placing pantyhose over their heads and competing in a tug of war. We struggle to understand exactly what the winner hopes to gain.